The impact of grief on human behavior is, more often than not, underestimated. We humans are emotional beings and even a slightest threat of separation (from the one we love), temporary or permanent, rattles our nervous system to the extent that we, sometimes, lose the ability to function like normal human beings; needless to mention what all can possibly happen if the loss occurs for real. Our powers are tied to our emotions. In the wake of a sudden or unexpected setback, or an emotional upheaval we, often times, lose the power of combating stressful life situations. We tend to slip in to depression on being confronted with loss, arising out of separation, broken home, financial instability or… the worst of all – death of a loved one.
Grief Counseling – What for?
While it is true that our loved ones who have crossed over, cannot (and should not) be brought back, it cannot be denied that a piece of us dies every single day (during the grieving period) until we finally let go of the departed, and focus on those who depend on us for love and attention. It might seem an uphill task but that is what we are supposed to do as human beings. We cannot afford to drown ourselves in grief for an indefinite period of time, for the sake of those who are still living and deserve the best from us.
Spiritual healing and alternate therapy go a long way in healing wounds at a much deeper level. As against conventional medicine which treats the symptoms, spiritual healing permeates to the deepest levels of our subconscious mind and cleanses our entire system with no side effects. Energy healing can never have a downside; it can only have a positive effect on the recipient.
I have learned the hard way that it is only ‘spiritual healing’ that has the power to make the trauma go away. Unlike the conventional treatment, it does not make you dependent on pills. Energy healing does not paralyze your power of perceiving pain the way modern medicine does. On the contrary it opens up your mind and fills you with a deeper understanding of the purpose of your existence in this realm, and the reason behind all the events in your life.
Stages of Grief
Although it is normal for anyone to grieve the loss suffered, it is devastating for the body and mind if the grieving period exceeds a certain acceptable time frame. If ‘grief’ is not handled and taken care of in the initial stage itself, it can turn into complicated grief and create unimaginable bodily disorders. Grief, especially the one arising out of death, has five stages – Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression and Acceptance. In most cases a grieving person tends to Deny, at first, the occurrence of the loss but on coming face to face with crude reality, Anger takes over. He feels betrayed, lonely and lost in wilderness. Then follows the Bargaining stage, where the sufferer prays and hopes the loved one is sent back to him but when he realizes that he cannot disrupt the natural order and that the only option available with him is to move on with his life, he starts slipping in to Depression. Life feels like a burden and, an unending and meaningless battle. Person starts losing interest in his daily chores and nothing brings him happiness. It can takes months and sometimes years for a person to finally Accept that he cannot bring back what has been lost and all he can do is to take control of his life and move on, for his own good and for the well being of his surviving family members. The sooner a grieving person completes the 5-phase cycle, the faster he is able to bring back normalcy in his daily life. Problem arises when the person gets stuck in any one of the five phases (which is not unusual) and is not able to move to the next phase. In such cases it does not take long for the normal grief to turn into complicated grief and when that happens, the bodily functions and mental faculties start shutting down. It feels like living in a limbo. Who would want to live like that!
Signs of Complicated Grief:
The most common symptoms of complicated grief are:
Not being able to let go of the memory of departed soul, acute depression, feeling of emptiness, withdrawal from social activities, increased irritability or agitation, numbness, a feeling of detachment, trouble carrying out normal activities, feeling that life holds no purpose, fatigue, loss of energy and appetite, loss of motivation, anxiety etc. All these symptoms can manifest in normal grieving period also but if the symptoms persist for more than a few months to a year then it surely is a sign of complicated grief and should not be ignored at any cost.